I’m currently on a months long social media detox until March 6th! Ever since 2018, I’ve made it a habit to take a one month break from social media platforms including Youtube every February. In the beginning of this month I was debating on doing my typical break and then thought, “well I could just give up social media for Lent in March” but a few things happened that made me realize it was best to keep to the February fast and so I logged off. During my time away, I’ve done a lot of reflections as always.

Now I know many people will sell the idea that getting off social media completely is an all around win. They say once they left they never looked back and to be honest that may very well be true for some. The only way to find out how it effects you personally would be to do it yourself and log off, for at least two weeks. The first week you go through withdrawals and get adjusted to doing different activities in your spare time. The second week you actually start seeing the benefits, at least for me anyway. However, even though the benefits are massive, I do find myself missing creating content online when I do step away and that’s why I today I want to discuss the negatives and positives of giving up social media.

Positives

1. I become aware of extremes ideologies being pushed to the forefront online. One thing I really do dislike about being online is the extreme viewpoints. Either you have to be completely trad wife, hate other women working while making everything from scratch OR you have to be a complete feminist who shaves her head, walks around shirtless with signs, screaming at people. Either you have to be a Priest and a bible scholar or an atheist. Forget those who are learning the faith or who aren’t qualified to teach. No, you need to share everything you think you know now or you aren’t a good Christian. You leading others astray with your own interpretation of scripture at this time doesn’t matter because at least you are sharing. You have to be either a millionaire or poor. Almost like the middle ground, normal, average people like myself aren’t shown much content like ourselves (unless you are reworking your feed constantly but even then you will still get ad’s and suggested content thrown your way). I’ve even noticed it in Christian circles. The video topics are getting more and more extreme and sometimes I wonder if it is solely for the sake of being seen or is that a result of people only consuming very extreme, controversial content non stop(which I believe is by design from these apps because strong emotions keep people watching and coming back. It doesn’t matter if the strong emotion is joy or distraught. They need you to stay online for hours at a time and to keep coming back to watch so they recommend extreme content that produces these emotions in you so you will do just that). As a creator this sucks for me because I am just not an extreme kind of girl and the things I am extreme about, you will not hear about it online lol I mean this is the internet after all. And as a consumer this sucks too because being shown extreme content constantly will soon or later have you thinking in extremes. All of a sudden you are being shown content about either being a DINK(dual income no kids) OR the complete opposite, never being able to express motherhood is hard and that everything is perfect…there is no middle ground and if they are those videos don’t get pushed and people soon stop creating because of it. Or they pivot to talking in extremes. I saw women saying if a Christian women is working she is in the wrong, period, never mind if she is doing it to help her husband! And honestly it’s not ok. So after awhile of being online day in and day out you become numb to normality. So sometimes, taking a break from online grounds me again and helps me pinpoint these extremes point of views right away so i don’t get sucked in.
2. I don’t have to worry about posting constantly for the algorithm. Obviously this doesn’t apply to those who just watch content online and don’t create. But for those who do actually create videos or want your videos to be seen by others, you’d know it can get tiresome at times to have to post often, especially on short form content platforms. Now, to be fair, I don’t think I’ve ever been consistent long enough to get burned out because I’m known for having a solid two week posting streak and then deleting all my content because I want a private life LOL. But when I am on a posting streak the constant needing to post because well if you don’t, how will people ever find your content is draining and honestly I do not miss it at all. I do not miss the feeling of putting myself out there for people to decide if they want to digest it or not. These apply much more to short form platforms for me because platforms like Tik Tok or Instagram show you everything, a little to much to be honest. They show you who views your story, who likes your post, who doesn’t like your post, they show you those who stalk your stories but never like your post and it messes with you at times. Youtube is much better because I don’t know if someone is stalking my page and not liking the video lol and it’s better that way for my mental health.
3. I get more time to be bored which results in creativity. I don’t let my toddler watch a lot of tv. I tried it and I really don’t think that regular tv watching(at least once a day) is for us. We’ve switched to rainy days or days where I don’t have much energy and the results in my toddlers mood is night and day. I noticed when I had the TV on at least once a day, even for 15 minutes, he forgot how to find creative ways to entertain himself! Suddenly when the TV turned off, all he did was cry because that was the only entertainment he knew for that brief time! Can you imagine if I let him watch for an hour or every day! The same thing happens to us adults too! When we have a down moment, we reach for our phones immediately. This is ok from time to time but after a while you start to think you have nothing to do besides viewing content online that is by design controversial, graphic, or extreme. Which leads you to A) now needing even more extreme things to give you a dopamine hit or B) never sitting and being bored. When we are online a lot we can slowly lose the ability to be bored which leads to finding ways to be creative. Yes some people get bored and look to drugs and alcohol(again the extremes) or abuse it completely and never work which is no good but I find majority of people find something else to do when they are faced with boredom. Like finding a new book which I have started, hiking more which we’ve started up again, a new hobby, or new recipes to make, etc.!
4. You savour moments more deeply. When I am actively online or researching for content, I sort of get in a rush mentality. It’s subtle but I notice I don’t fully put my all into what I may be doing because mentally I’m on to the next thing. Without being on social media and feeling the need to post has caused me to really enjoy all the little moments in greater depth. I will mention, if you just consume content and don’t create this may not affect you because for me I view it as a task needing to get done, paid or not. It’s almost like working without the constant pay. When people work, if they don’t do family work, they are away from their family to a certain degree and it’s the same if you’re creating content.
5. I realized I enjoy creating over consuming. I plan on cutting down consumption and the way I go about social media in the future. This time away has really caused me to think deeper about the relationship I have with online platforms. I don’t want to log off completely because I do enjoy being creative and making a little bit of income online. Also, everyone is online and when I see how dark the world is, I enjoy being a light(at least that’s what I’d hope I am). But I will no longer consume content that brings about extreme emotion, religion confusion(people LOVE sharing their interpretation of scripture), or content that just makes me feel bad. This includes being very picky about who I interact with online as well. The reality is that social media is a tool that is there and many of us, when consuming, do it in our free time to kick back, relax, and watch something that brings us joy. When watching certain creators or talking to people online does the opposite I will back off because at the end of the day we don’t know these people in real life and no one is guaranteed a spot to speak into our lives. So I am getting very particular about the content I let in which goes into my next point.
6. I realized everyone online is a creator and I take their content with a grain of salt. Everyone who is online, me included, show what we feel comfortable showing. This is wise, especially considering the internet’s nature. There are just some things I will not show and this looks different for everyone. Some may not feel comfortable showing their kids or sharing about their relationship, the line is drawn differently for everyone and I do think it’s wise not to share everything. Knowing this, when I view another persons video I automatically know I am only seeing a small amount of their life. That’s why I think for me, comparison online has never been a personal struggle. My struggle has always been watching Christian videos about “the Lord told me this, or that” and taking it in thinking it must apply to me or talking to Christian’s and letting any and everyone speak into my life because I think its rude to block people lol (it may be the people pleaser in me). And when I take breaks from online it helps me not to take things too personal because even though we see people online, sharing their life and ideas, and even chat with some, the reality is that we don’t know these people or their motives. So it’s very important for me to get that because as an empathetic person I tend to really take in and feel what others say which has the ability to impact me negatively.

Negatives

1. I miss the search ability! This one is interesting and if you have a ton of versatile friends in real life this may not apply to you! But I miss the freedom of speech(despite what people say) on social media. It goes down in the comments and it always has, with real peoples experience. I miss that because Google doesn’t have a fair assessment of things all the time. I miss being able to search “toddler activities for stay at home moms” or “100% cotton dresses from Amazon” on tik tok where I’m shown videos of exactly what I want so I don’t have doom scroll Amazon to find what I’m looking for! Same goes for low toxic products at target or hairstyles of stretched hair. I miss those things. Another thing is looking up forums that give you information that maybe only a lawyer could provide. We are in the process of trying to get my hubbies parents a visa and the forums have helped so much more than google because people bring all the information and share with others. They share the date they applied, the day it got accepted, what they were asked at the interview, etc. This type of stuff is hard to find on google.
2. I really enjoy videography and sharing it with others and I miss it so much! Especially on Youtube where I’ve built a little community of amazing women! I miss the interaction and watching my favorite content creators vlogs! What can I say, I am not a TV girl lol! I watch vlogs of my favorite comfort creators and I much more prefer that to traditional TV or movies. To be honest mainstream shows and movies that I’ve seen have hidden agendas and I can’t stand much of it! For example, we were watching a movie one year and they sold the main character as having it all, she had a vibrant career, 2 kids, and a husband. Like um no, that to me is not having it all and I don’t like being pushed such narratives. Because before you know it it’s in your subconscious and now you’re thinking this is what it means to have it all. So we have been binging Survivor and The Amazing Race(my favorites outside of 90 day fiance franchise) which has been nice for all of us to watch after dinner in the evenings! I have been creating videos and saving it to my phone but it isn’t the same as creating and sharing with others who love and support you! With this time away I did notice that there are other platforms however to showcase your creativity without feeling the need to doom scroll on platforms like Instagram. Pinterest has been so nice! I was never into pinterest until this past month! Also blogging on your own blog! It’s been nice to redesign my blog and get creative with it!

All in all, every year I go on a break, I learn something new each time. Sometimes I think I need to completely delete everything and I have done this many times hahah but a break always does the trick! If you are someone who may be thinking of completely deleting everything, I recommend a break first. One thing my Priest has said is to not make rash decisions and instead let them marinate and think on it first. As someones who MO is to delete and go ghost, I’ve been slowly taking that to heart because he is right! With Lent season approaching (if you observe this time) it may be worth considering taking a break!