Off the Beaten Path

Today’s topic is a little bit controversial. It involves focusing on the outer beauty. Yes, our physical appearance! Now, I just want to be very clear on two things: I do not believe looks can keep a man/woman and I do not believe good looks will stop someone from cheating if that’s what they want to do. Just take a look at Hollywood. Some of the most beautiful people in the world get cheated on, but that’s another story for a another day. I do believe that it takes a lot more than looks to keep a relationship and this goes into my second point which is i believe that you should be chasing inner beauty three times more than you’re chasing your physical beauty. We are well aware that looks fade

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Proverbs 31:30

However, it would be unwise to not acknowledge that we are human beings living in a physical body. We do have humanly impulses, we have eyes that see, and we like to look at pleasant, beautiful things. So let’s get into it.

Why do people let themselves go?

There could be a number of things, but the first thing that comes to mind would be pregnancy for women. Especially the transition of becoming a first time mother. Now, I’m not a mom just yet, although i hope to be very soon lord willing, but I’ve seen other women who go through an adjustment period. For good reason too! It’s a period where you’re basically navigating how to be a parent and on top of that so you’re so busy that maybe you don’t have time to work out because it takes a lot of work to leave a new baby and get time to yourself.

The next thing is going to be aging. As we age, there are probably illnesses that can arise that can hinder us from working out. Now, everyone’s going to age(Lord willing) and this is not your fault, this is life, and actually aging is a blessing. This is one of the main reasons why I do suggest working on your inward beauty, how you carry yourself, your manners, your morals, your temperament, your tone, things like these!

The last thing could be because of laziness. The truth is, whether we do it intentionally or not, we can let ourselves go because we just don’t want to put in the effort. I am not speaking on a season of depression or hardship, I understand these things happen and I believe in said seasons, it is totally OK and encouraged to focus on your mental health. I am speaking of times where you have the time to workout, eat healthy, fix your hair, and beautify yourself and you just choose not to. This is not a good enough reason in my opinion and needs to be checked and corrected and I’m going to discuss why.

Why it’s important to keep up with yourself.

I first want to say, I think it’s a blessing that we are all different people because when they say “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”, i think that’s so true. I don’t look like everyone and everyone doesn’t look like me and if every person saw beauty the same, some of us would be way out of luck! This is good news! It means that we have to then focus on what we can control. This includes grooming, good hygiene, keeping in a healthy bmi, combing your hair, taking care of your skin, etc.

It’s important because when your spouse meets you let’s be honest what’s the first thing that attracts them to you? Majority of the time it’s going to be the way that you look. It’s natural, so when you decide to completely let yourself go and I’m not talking about a small letting yourself go where you maybe put on 5-10 lbs. I am talking about drastic changes without good reason, it is not be fair to your partner. If your partner got with you because he likes certain things about you and then as soon as you snag him and you snag that ring, you start kind of letting yourself go, he’s gonna be like “that’s not fair to me”.

Another reason why i think it’s very important is because you’re not only putting on for yourself, after you get married, you represent your partner too. When you go out and you don’t brush your hair, you don’t brush your teeth, and you go out with holes in your clothes, it just shows that you didn’t really put in much effort. People are visual and whether we want to admit it or not, the way you appear in the public eye has a direct impact on jobs, the way strangers see you, possible opportunities, and more. So not putting in effort doesn’t only impact you negatively, it also can impact your partners future opportunities.

Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

Proverbs 31:23

The last reason is why not? Why wouldn’t you want to give yourself the best run at success? Whether that’s success in a marriage, a success in a relationship, a success at a job, success in a business opportunity, like why wouldn’t you want to put your best foot forward? We should always strive to be the best version of ourselves, that includes physically.

How to keep up with yourself physically?

1. Stay in a healthy bmi/good physical shape.
2. Find your best hair color/color pallet.
3. Take care of your personal hygiene including your skin,nails,hair, and teeth.
4. Find your body type and dress to flatter it vs working against it.

I will go a deeper dive on this, so stay tuned for another blog on this!

In closing, i just want to reiterate that i feel like chasing your inner beauty should be three times more is important than chasing your outer beauty. I am also not saying that we should make an idol out of ourselves. I believe we should keep up with ourselves but not to the point where we are just focusing on the outer beauty and not on the inner beauty.

I would love to actually hear your thoughts, leave a comment down below if a partner not keeping up with their physical appearance is a deal breaker.