Off the Beaten Path

As a stay at home mom to a 2 year old I realized one thing, I don’t exactly know what I am doing. I am a go with the flow, type b kinda gal and that has always served me well, until now! I was raised by my lovely grandparents who spent lots of time either working until retirement or keeping their schedules filled with things to do. Most of the women I know followed the traditional way of living of staying home until maternity leave was up and then back to work they went, sending their kids to daycare. So I never really saw first hand what to do with a child all day, how to spend my time with them, how to co exist for long periods of time.

To be honest, even before having my little one, I’d think about what it would be like to have him and what he’d be like all the time! But I never thought far into the future of what it’d be like to actually spend 24/7 with a toddler! So in this blog post I’ll be sharing what I’m learning in this season as someone who didn’t know how to co exists with children and tools I’ve used to help me learn how to do so!

Let Them Come Along

In the beginning of my motherhood journey, my son came everywhere with me. He was so tiny, didn’t speak, couldn’t walk, and I brought him along everywhere I went on every task. Along the way, as he began to grow I noticed that I’d find ways to keep him busy while I did my normal things around the house. If I went to cook, I’d set us the Lego table or let him play with pots and pans. If I needed to clean the bathroom, I’d give him animal toys to keep him busy. This worked very few times and when it did, I loved it! I was able to get things done without distraction. Majority of times, however, it did not work for long. I’d leave the room and my son would come following me shortly after:) How precious are our kiddos! So I ended up reading up on this and found a wonderful blog where the writer spoke about including your children into your daily tasks! Whoaa! This changed the game for me. I bought a stand for my kitchen and included him into what I was doing. At first it looked like him just standing and watching, then eventually he’d plop the fork around to pretend stir, to then being able to crack eggs, to now him being able to almost make his morning pancakes by himself! He grabs the stool, moves it to the fridge, says what he is taking out, takes it to the counter and puts things in the bowl himself. What a long way we’ve come!

Now, if I’m honest, the extra mess and extra time that it took wasn’t necessarily exciting but man was it worth it seeing him learn and be excited to do what momma was doing! My husband has done the same! He is a wood worker and we call our son his mini helper. At 2, he can handle a drill better than the average guy and a hammer too! And I owe all of this to getting out of my comfort zone, embracing the mess, and doing it anyway! Letting him come along with me and including him into everything I do. It has also been a huge space for learning counting, measuring, and following directions as well!

Divide your day in chunks

One thing that has helped me is not going necessarily by hours or minutes but more so dividing our day in chunks. Morning, Nap, Afternoon, Dinner, Night Time. This can also be divided by meals and nap times. For me this helps tremendously because the days don’t feel as long. I know in the mornings I have to do my prayer, our getting ready, make breakfast, send dad on his way to work, while getting out of the house before nap time! And then boom, it’s nap time! And after nap time, comes afternoon until I have to start on dinner! Because I don’t do well with super rigid schedules(I think it’d be more stressful for me than helpful) this helps me keep a semi schedule while also being flexible.

If You Don’t Know, Seek

Seek and you will find. Matthew 7:7. With me not having any former knowledge of how to be with kids, I went to the internet! I specifically looked on forums and asked “what do toddlers do in daycare all day”? You will find literal activities and ways the daycare’s structure their day so you can choose to incorporate some of those things or all in your day. I’d also look up things like “stay at home mom schedule to a 2 year old”! Being specific on my needs and searches. Seeking these answers out, even if it was the use of mom forums or groups helped me see what other moms did how that could fit for me and my son! Ideally you’d learn this from family or friends who are stay at home moms but if you don’t have that, or don’t know many, use what you have! Books, resources, but certainly the internet.

This blog post here was lovely as well as this one! I love searching mothers who have a similar structure style as me and people with more than one child because normally those women are a bit more seasoned!

I also utilized social media strategically and would search things like “morning with a toddler”, “wake window activities for an 8 month old”, “water activities outside for toddler boy”, “milestones for a 2 year old”, “Chinese toddler mom day in the life”, “stay at home african mom”, etc. Get creative with your searches hahah! The internet literally allows you to soak up so much information about motherhood from many different cultures all in 20 minutes! Use it to your advantage and jot down all the ideas you get from it!

Here is a recent video I watched that showed different montessori activities her two kiddos love and since I am wanting to change my toddlers room to more of a play room, I will be using some of these ideas!

Get Outside At Least Once A Day

Every mommy blog or forum I’ve read all had this one daily activity listed. That was to leave the house at least once a day! And they don’t have to be grand activities or outings. It can simply mean Monday, we go grocery shopping. Tuesday, we go to the library. Wednesday, we meet up with a friend. Thursday, we take a trip with dad to Home Depot. Friday, we go to the park. Saturday, we drive around to watch construction workers. Sunday, we go to Mass/Divine Liturgy! Literally they can be as simple as going to the park or as crazy as camping. We recently went camping with friends and it’s safe to say that trip has made a camper out of all of us hahah. Getting out at least once a day, before nap time has been so helpful. It takes up time, especially when the days feel so long. It also helps your little one explore, and everyone leaves the environment which is like a reset when you get back home. As a woman who loves switching my furniture around often because I enjoy the feeling of a new layout I can only imagine what being in the house does to a toddler all day!

And if you are a one car household like we are, don’t underestimate taking walks or finding nearby parks/playgrounds! You can also set up fun stations in your backyard or downstairs in another part of the house for rainy days! That way you can still give them the change of scenery!

Give yourself Grace and be present

Just like with anything else you are doing for the first or maybe even the second time, it is important to give yourself grace. Yes, this is your toddlers childhood but it is also your motherhood. Motherhood is not perfect and neither are you, and that is okay. Strive for it, yes but if you fail, pray about it and realize you are doing the best you can. Someone said it doesn’t necessarily matter what you do so much so as you are doing it together. Your toddler wants to be with you. And as long as you are there, present, and engaging with them, that is what matters the most. All other things can be worked on and fixed as needed. And if noone has told you, I will, you’re doing great momma. Even if no one sees you or acknowledges all you do for your family and little one(s), remember the Lord sees you!

As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; and you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.” Isaiah 66:13

I’m sure there is so much more things I can include but this is all I can think of for now! If you’re a mom feel free to comment what’s helped you!