Off the Beaten Path

I recently uploaded a video where I discussed what other women said was the number reason that held them back from embracing their natural hair. While of course there were others mentioned, many women said it was because their natural hair was too much work. The de tangling time, styling time, and the amount of time they’d spend trying new products! 

I discuss in great detail what I found, solutions, and why it’s important to continue striving to at least attempt to learn your natural hair for the younger generation in this video and I encourage you to check it out!

Today I’ll be sharing more thoughts on my own personal experience of if I believe it is more work. Coming from a girl who wore extensions back to back for over 10 years! 

The short answer is yes it’s more work, the long answer is this..

It’s more work because I never learned how to manage my curly hair without braiding it up. My father passed very young and he was a single father so he’d take my sister and I to the African hair braiding shop to get our hair done. After his passing I was about 10 when I took over doing my sisters and I’s hair which started my love for hair. But I’d braid it or twist and leave it for quite some time. I did this until high school. In high school I wanted straight hair for a number of reasons and began straightening frequently which eventually led to my hair extensions journey. So I never truly learned how to take care my natural hair, while wearing it loose without braiding it up. I never learned how to keep it moisturized while wearing it down, getting on a solid washing schedule, de tangling products, etc. Braiding it up and wearing it like that is waaaaay less work and if do it right it will keep your hair healthy and growing. But as an adult, I love and enjoy wearing my hair down. It is important to me, just as important as growing my hair and I constantly feel what is the point of growing it long if I can’t wear it down and loose. 

So it was hard work, in the beginning. Just like any other skill you don’t know it takes work to learn but once you learn you have unlocked a new skill that can eventually be put on easy mode! And I believe taking care of our natural hair and learning it can be similar! It really boils down to what you believe is worth it that determines if hard work is worth it. People discipline themselves to work out regularly, diet regularly, be patient with their children, go to Church even when we don’t feel like it, pour into relationships even when we don’t feel like it. And we do those hard things because to us is worth it. And I think if we are honest, many probably don’t feel like it is worth it. They may not see learning their natural hair as rewarding for different reasons. But it is. This is the hair you were given that grows steadily out of your scalp and no matter what we do to it, it will always grow out of our scalp the way our hair is. So yes it can be hard, but because it was the hair given to you it should be worth it.

At first my de tangle days took long, until I learned to use products with slip and wash my hair more frequently for hydration. Now I don’t take long at all to de tangle. 

At first I’d style way too often, until I learned ideally it’s best to get a style that leaves my fingers out of my hair everyday. For some this style may be wearing stretched styles, wearing their hair up, or wash and styles, for me it’s twist outs, even though I am still tweaking my routine. 

So I’m realizing the problem isn’t necessarily the time but more so the lack of knowledge. And that knowledge only comes from doing. First hand experience. You can’t go under it, you can’t go over it, you have to go through it. 

When I was convicted for wearing hair extensions in 2022 I had no other choice but to learn and that led me to realizing that even though it is hard, for me the hard was worth it. Now after having a child, I understand why the hard is worth it. He sees how I show up to the world everyday and it may shape what he finds beautiful in others. And I don’t want him to see having curly hair as not beautiful because he was never exposed to it, because it is beautiful and a gift from the Lord. I know some may believe that our outter appearance doesn’t matter, and while I believe it matters very little compared to what’s going on with us internally or spiritually, I believe it showcases what’s going on inside of you. For example, when I became a Christian, I began feeling awful about showing too much skin or wearing super tight clothes that could cause my fellow brothers to stumble! Now I understand everyone is on their own journey and arrive at different conclusions at their own time so I always say don’t make my conviction your conviction but I do think it is worth asking yourself why. Why you do what you do or show up to the world the way you do. If not for you, especially for the little ones watching who will want to mimic you or change how they see attributes they have that you have that you may choose to cover or conceal regularly, like curly hair.

Again, I go over this, especially my view on how it impacts younger curly haired girls, in great detail in that video above and I also have a video that gives practical advice on what you can do if you genuinely do not like your natural hair, and find it hard to embrace here:

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Luke 12:7