Off the Beaten Path

I received a question from a few subscribers on my Youtube Channel (I talk about stay at home wife and now stay at home mom topics amongst other things). The questions were along the lines of “what do you do when you feel lazy as a homemaker coming from a working job, especially when you don’t have kids”. Honestly I have dealt with this before in the past before becoming a SAHM so I wanted to share my thoughts on the topic, along with some tips that you can do to feel better about the situation.

I first want to continue encouraging women to view homemaking as a job while also remembering that you are now (in my case at least) living a slower life. It’s so hard not to bring the hustle bustle culture mentality home, especially when you are transitioning from a working wife to a stay at home wife. A while ago I did an interview with a Youtuber, At Home with Troy, and she said it best.

“We’re so wired to think that we have to hustle 24/7, when you don’t have to, its not normal to be in constant hustle mode”.

At Home with Troy, YouTuber

If I could give any women advice who is struggling with a feeling of laziness or that you aren’t doing enough, it is to first try to eliminate the thinking process that being productive looks like burnout.

Burnout is something I’ve experienced in many previous jobs due to the work environments being high stress & little reward. Productivity is not the same as being a busy body. You can be productive and do a total of 4 things, 4 things that actually lead to your goals and are meaningful vs doing 20 things that are useless. Having this shift in mindset helps you to focus on quality vs quantity in your tasks.

Now lets get into some of the Practical tips you can implement because being a lazy wife is a real thing and since we don’t want to be lazy(for our household or our family) I want you to keep these tips in mind.

Acknowledge if what you’re feeling is a conviction

Sometimes our feeling of not being productive is actually coming from us not being productive. We all have a conscience and praise the Lord for it! Sometimes we feel convicted so that we can hopefully change our bad habits. This is good news! It happens to remind us that there is in fact work to be done, and sitting around scrolling, talking on the phone for hours, and making tik toks videos(unless it’s your job) is not our priority. So get real with yourself and pray, do some digging to really find out if you aren’t being a good steward of your time. After examination, try these things:

1. Create a list of things to do and tackle it

These days I do more of a mental checklist but in the beginning I had to write a physical list down and check it off. It was in the motions of doing so that I felt like I accomplished something, which will help your feelings of being lazy. Having things to do and then doing them is the exact opposite of being lazy because you are getting tasks done. Sometimes we don’t think we get a lot done but we actually do, we just think it’s nothing until we put it on paper. For me, before being a SAHM I would do a decent amount of things before my husband got up and when he did, I began questioning myself “what did I do all morning” and then I remember “you woke up, you prepped and baked some bread, you took the dog out for a walk, and you started prepping on the dog’s food for the week”. So because I didn’t have it written down and simply forgot, it seemed like I didn’t get much done when I actually did. It’s almost like we forget we are doing things because it’s simply not written down and taken as a mental note instead.

2. Get a Hobby

would encourage people to get a hobby, of course only if you have the time. I know many homemakers who are swamped with to do list just at home, but if you have extra time and would like to pick up something fun, then I recommend it! Whether that is learning a new instrument, a new skill that can come in handy in the future like hair, sewing, gardening, or a cooking class! The best thing about staying home without children is that you now have time to focus on things you once could not do due to an overwhelming work and school schedule. Use this time wisely because once you start having children, in the early years, you may not have the time to do as many things as you’d like, especially with a new born and toddler years!

Hobbies are nice because in the day to day tasks that we do, some spontaneous but mostly repetitive, it gives you an opportunity to be creative.

”Creativity of all kinds focuses your mind, engages your imagination, and feeds your soul,”

Sue Patton Thoele

3. Get Yourself in Order

If in fact you’ve examined yourself and realize that your day is full of things to do and you’ve picked up a hobby but you still don’t feel as productive as you’d like consider this; get yourself in order. When I say get yourself in order I mean spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. You can always be in better shape, you can always pray more, go to adoration more, you can always be more mentally sound by reading more books, you can always be more emotionally intelligent, and if you want to do something financially, pick up a little side gig! You have the time to do so, create an Etsy shop, start a blog or YouTube channel, sell baked goods, whatever it is you’re passionate about, I can almost guarantee you that there is a way to monetize it in this day and age.

The reason getting yourself in order will help break the mindset of laziness is because you are physically putting in work and effort to better yourself. Choosing to read the scriptures more frequently to grow spiritually will never leave you empty. Running or walking a couple of miles per day will end your laziness streak real quick! So if you’re feeling like you’re house is in complete order, use time out of the day to focus on being a better you.

And most importantly, remember to give yourself grace. Transitioning from being a working wife to a stay at home wife in general is hard but especially when you’re transitioning from one mindset(hustle bustle) to another(slower living). Remember that during any time of transition there should be a grace period and a little wiggle room as you’re figuring out how to navigate it all.